The year was 1915 and the first world war was only about half of what I was struggling the same could be said for the majority of the country. I think all us might have been unwilling to fight in a world at war. I still couldn’t tell you what it is all those people died for. You see I had just met the girl of my dreams right before being drafted and enlisted in the Marines. Not only me but all my friends, shoot all us boys from town even. Many of us not all that much over eighteen. We were all caught up in the middle stuck in between or so at least that’s how it seemed. Such god awful things I had to see over seas untill the day I was hit by shrapnel in the knee. How everyday away I longed for home had I have known bloody holes blown right through me was my way back home I would have shot me just to get back to your sweet great granny who ever so patiently was waiting for me hell most days it seemed it was thoughts of her were the only thing which kept me going. When asked about my time served I’d just sigh and nod uttering not a word of what I observed just cracking some joke how they all should feel ever so lucky I had survived or none of y’all would be alive the only one who never rolled their eyes at me saying that was my son your grandfather.
Back in oh I say spring of 44 i asked your grandmother to marry me right before being drafted in the second world war. I made lieutenant by that following summer. I would send letter after letter till the day I thought they thought they were all off better. One day soon after a stack a mile high of letters finally found their way to me. It had been oh I say almost a year or so since I had heard anything. I received news I was a father happy and yet nervous I was to know I’d be going home a father but ever happier to know I had not been forgotten. Her father I feared might keep me forsaken or more worse farsake her. I better get my hyde to high tailing it back home I reckoned. Make a honest woman out of who in my eyes was already my wife the one I always knew was it for me sadly what had happened that next night behind enemy lines hostile forces took my life. Now I’m a haunted ghost haunting trying ever so hard to be as an angel guarding. If only she could hear me now id say I’m so sorry you were right we should have just eloped that day before you will both never know just how much in death I love you so much more.
It was 1960 I was fixing to graduate college with a bachelors degree in agricultural science your mother and me had just gotten married I had just turned twenty three when we learned of your mother’s pregnancy. That very afternoon a draft card came in the mail with yup you guessed it my damn name on it. From something to nothing in the fucking us army. Those god forsaken wretched gooks it don’t matter what we did to them I swear to you they were often worse to each other. Just where you think we got it from anyhow? Now in order to cope I must drink and use dope. After one of my episodes you won’t catch me home for a few days or maybe even a week otherwise my wife and kid might not have left hardly any cheek. God deep down I hate being this way but sadly I guess truth is I’m just weak and lost a chunk of my humanity somewhere over seas.
Stupid old man I’ll show him he thinks he’s so tough like the army is so rough. Acts as though he earned the right to be a hard ass American asshole. One day I’m gonna grow up I’ll prove him wrong, I’ll be so strong. he was a solider so I’ll be a Navy seal! I’ll go on missions and lead expeditions and guess what I’ll show him you don’t gotta be a drunk that beats your wife and kid cause of your service to your country.
It’s the year 1990 now it’s junior here gearing up for war. Dad passed that year before from kidney failure and liver disease slowly killed himself it appeard. Not before watching his boy though with living a happy life with a wife and son of his own that he don’t ever mistreat none. As well as a successful military career. Now he is willingly over seas a gulf war major in the middle of a really major war zone and while saving another here comes flying in a grenade not even a foot away junior here gets blown away. With his blood soaking in the desert sand his fore father’s come beside him to the other side they lead him. They know his father failed him so must have his father then his father and even that father too. I guess war really can change a man like a mutated gene passed down and then enhanced with more war generation by generation worsening as it goes on down through the bloodline. From the ones that never would to now the one that will feel as though he should being that his daddy died an accomplished war hero fighting on the frontline. Nothing like make the dead dad proud syndrome. Now what do you know it’s 2004 juniors little junior here of course off at war killing radical Muslim turned terrorists while hunting their leader Osama bin laden when all the sudden his battalion runs up on a claymore. While bleeding out with his guts out on the floor he cries for his girl back home knowing she’s gonna be bringing his son into the world alone.
Its hard to know just how long this could go on especially when this son here could grow up enough to go die in battle not before planting a seed though I’m sure an now it matters not son or daughter can carry on this bloody legacy. Listen hard enough in the dead silence you can hear dead father’s screaming to be heard pleading for just a word if only for moment you’d only just listen. You know not a time has gone by now for over a century we have not been at war so what’s that tell you this country will always find more but at what cost to you and your children and your children’s children and even their children too. If only this could point of view could be passed down untill then we’re right here the ones that came before you to make sure no more kin ever die alone off in some foreign land ever again. Maybe one day war might stop enough to break this cycle then together we can all return home and pass through the gates of heaven. It’s ok it hasn’t happened but hopefully in the next generation.